Every so often I read a book that speaks to me directly and stays with me long after the last page has been turned. Inevitably, these books tell one woman’s story that reflects the truths and emotions experienced by all women. Forty Rooms by Olga Grushin takes the reader on a journey that is particular to one woman and at the same time, universal in its truth.
A Dream Deferred
The novel consists of 40 brief chapters, reflecting 40 rooms inhabited throughout a woman’s life. Through these rooms, we watch this woman grow from one stage in life to another. She begins as an an creative child who comes upon her mother sifting through a box of her own memories. As she watches, she imagines her mother as a mermaid. But life goes on. She becomes a woman with six children. And she has pushed aside her dreams of becoming a poet for the sake of raising her family.
At some point during her journey, we realize that she is no longer deferring her dreams for a higher good. Rather she uses her daily responsibilities as an excuse to no longer pursue her dreams. At what point did this happen? Was it a conscious decision? Nowhere does it seem like it. It seems that an ongoing postponement has finally eroded her vision.
And what does that tell us, the readers, about the consequences of postponing our dreams?
Early in the story, a mysterious man comes to her in her dreams, questions her, and offers her advice.
At one point he says, “You can spend your days baking cookies for your offspring, or — as ever through the ages — you can become a madwoman, a nomad, a warrior, a saint. But if you do decide to follow the way of the few, you must remember this: Whenever you come to a fork in the road, always choose the harder path, otherwise the path of least resistance will be chosen for you.”
The Shift
As the woman moves through adulthood, the reader senses a shift. Her path becomes chosen for her as predicted because she herself has neglected to choose. It is interesting to note that the woman is a nameless narrator through childhood and young adulthood. But in middle age, when the shift becomes apparent, she begins to call herself “Mrs. Caldwell”, narrating her own story as if “Mrs. Caldwell” is separate from herself. When I reached this part of the story, I have to say I found it genius. This woman had become so removed from herself, that she told her own story as a stranger would!
Forty Rooms has a thread of the surreal running through it. The quality is especially prevalent in the early and later stages of the woman’s life, where it touches her childhood imaginings, the dream visits of the mysterious man, and the final rooms of her life where her memories and regrets crowd reality.
In the end, I understood how easily a life can slip away if one allows the path of least resistance to be chosen for them. I realized how little time each of us has to realize our dreams in the first place. What a wake-up call!
Few books have stayed with me the way Forty Rooms has. Fewer have led me to examine my life, accept my choices, and recognize where and why I have strayed from my dreams. The good news? While this is not a story of redemption for Mrs. Caldwell, it can be for the readers who take her message to heart.